Local Night Clubs

I'm going to hell for this?

I was staying in a hotel and my friend called me and I have not broken note paper, so a page of the Bible of the Gideons in the bedside table to write the address of the club. I'm going to hell for this? Oh, I'm really drunk and slept with a total bitch. I feel like a pig …

You are almost certinaly defiing go to hell for his holy word and having sex with a prostitute. Its disgusting drunkenness is bad enough, but forgivable in the eyes of the Lord, but fornication with the whore of Babylon is beyond God's ability toilerate. God you wash!

Night Clubs and Parties – Staying Christian in College Pt. 3

The Sorcerer’s Apprentice $1.99 …

A little known version of history…spiritual not academic

Introduction:

A bottom end of town satire translation by Stephen Gripes from the Book of Alf, called “A little known version of history…spiritual not academic” ‘Cause academia read too many of their own books, funny books…you know, with no missing punctuation gizmo’s & spelling mistakes in them. So this is a special colloquial translation with spelling mistakes & missing gizmo’s for my friends in the bottom end of town and to lighten things up in the top end of town. If this does not do the trick, then take a trip to the Dentist and have a dose of laughing gas and re-read it, but not in the chair. You might end up minus a few teeth and a whopping big bill instead, like I did. And no, I’m not signing up with anyone. Least of all Hollydude & Co; they are in deep you know what with God. Along with days-of-our-rotten-product-created lives from the good ole U.S. of A. for upsetting Upstairs afternoon tea break and picture show treats. Plus, driving the primordial gods to the booze. With their commercial television programs, products, promo’s, bling, self-congrats and awards for their primordial concentrated gifts in the human being, that everyone goes potty over & worships.

Anyways, I’ve also found the missing ancient manuscripts from the book “The Celestine Potholes”. You know, the manuscsripts that got lost in South America, or was it India? Anyways, it was addressed to J. Redsfields to translate, but I don’t know him…I’ve never met him, although I have read his book about ‘The Celestine Potholes’. Anyways, the Newspapers, Boobs @ Abs Magazine and other Comic Books would not publish my translation, ‘cause I’m not famous with my boobs and abs. The Commercial Television stations don’t want a bar of it, ‘cause it aint got no products in it. The BBC said to send it to the ABC for spelling corrections & syntax first, The Guverment said I’ve gotta become a Politician before they will read it and Science don’t understand it the way I’ve written it –neither do I. So the best place for it is on the Garbo-net…sorry, I mean the Internet. So if someone out there that understands my translations…and can read my rotten bottom end of town writing & spelling, then please let me know.

p.s. Don’t know whether it’s important or not, but there’s something really weirdo at the bottom of this ancient manuscript, it says (i times d) plus the square root of (m) plus (LN times CM) equals H this-way-Albert”. Must be something to do with Albert Stein –or was it Joe Stein? Maybe it was Eff Stein, anyway some Stein –have included it in case it helps Academia and Hollywood…not forgetting the Pentagon either, as they know everyfing what is going on in the world first from the late night show on the commercial television. Plus, it says what’s faster than the speed of light?…the speed of thought of course…and that’s really weirdo. `Cause every one knows that the speed of light is the fastest thing in the Universe. At least that’s what it says in all the funny science books that I pinched, sorry, I mean borrowed from the library. You know, E equals MC squared or somefing, not T equals PP squared to infinity, like what Alfiewhatsitallabout says in his articles. Anyways, youse got the brains, so work it out and post me back the answer…so I can get some sleep.

p.p.s. There’s a load more here –manuscripts that is. So I’ll go a paste a few up on some notice-boards down town, just to keep the ‘speed of thought’ ball rolling while youse sort it all out (and my ‘orrible spelling) and I can translate the rest of the manuscripts into good English and good American…for the Pentagon. Plus, the one I’m on at the moment don’t make sense at all –so I’ll have to go and see the ‘Boss’ about it on the way –after my tea break that is.
Signed the thinker…you know, that unemployed Greek bloke on the dole?
Counter signed concerned Citizen…no, confused citizen Stephen son of Alf @ www.alfsworldgripes.com

Right here we go…
Once upon a time long long ago, during the ‘golden age’ of the ancient world and before money, politicians, celebrities and Hollybug were invented and things went to pot, mankind once lived in harmony with Nature, the animals and themselves…hard to believe eh? So too, a special ceremony was always performed at the equinoxes, i.e. the four seasons junction points. A spiritual ceremony to acknowledge the divinity of the Laws of Nature, that structure and evolve everything in Creation and create order out of chaos in life. In addition, when the females of Royal lineage of the rulers of those days…who were very nice people by the way –not like in Hollynud and Co, became fertile and ready for motherhood, it was considered an honour to seek the initial act of copulation from the deities…this is where it gets interesting.

Q:Who were the deities?
A: They were the physical manifestation of the Gods of Heaven.
Q: Wow! so how did they get here then? `Cause this ain’t heaven, except for all the Media created winners living it up in the top end of town You know, that live in the television & movies, newspapers and I-love-me glossy magazines full of saturated products, boobs & abs and skinny fashion models on a catwalk trip to product la la land.
A: Well they didn’t get here in space ships, flying saucers, teacups or the pen of science fiction writers on Prozac –sorry about that, I couldn’t resist it.

No, they manifested through the spiritual workings of the divinity of the Laws of Nature. Spiritual laws that were in total harmony with a human being…but not all human beings, but evolved spiritual human beings. Who had reached the age of 21 and were functioning out of their spiritual bodies as well as their physical one’s. Anyways, in this sacrifice of a Maidens virtue and innocence for pro-creational purposes and not rec-creational purposes? like on T.V. and in Hollydude movies and in human worshiping boobs, bottoms and whatnots glossy product magazines, harmony was said to result within all the quantum located spiritual planes of Creation that underwrite our physical seen world that we live in.

Yes, almighty Nature was very much pleased to be honoured with such dignity of her divine procreation gifts to the human being. Thus that human respect and its harmonious karmic influence structured not only conception, but also positively influenced the Yin and the Yang within the primordial archetypal spiritual intelligence that orchestrates life. You know, the subtle vibrations of creative-intelligence emanating from the spiritual platform of the Planets in our solar system; planetary archetypal intelligence that physical life and its biology & chemistry has arisen and evolved out of. Spiritual archetypal intelligence that is sourced to other Cosmic intelligence that is responsible for the equilibrium of the changing seasons and a lot more besides. According to Alf anyway, but not all the laborotorium Scientists changing everything on the planet without Upstairs permission will agree with Alf…that’s for sure.

Q: What is this Cosmic spiritual intelligence you might ask?
A: The four Deities (well five in Alf’s book) of this physical planet`. You know, Earth, Air, Fire and Water and all that hard to believe metaphysical Jazz that Alf is spouting on about in his articles. Because that’s fairy stories, according to the learned Academics swotting away downstairs in their books & writing and not making any spelling mistakes. Along with drinking too much ‘caffe latte…well some anyway, and other downstairs knockers of Upstairs. That cannot except any reality exists outside of their own human created & lived one. ‘Cause we humans create reality and then live it you know. So its not a fairy story, says God. Because those deities of Nature are my spiritual intelligence within physical Creation –but most definitely not yours or the lobotomy scientists. Doing what they like with my animals and plants and all my wiggly’s & atoms on the planet, but without proper consultation with my Laws of Nature government creating ‘order out of chaos’ in Creation.

To continue:
The elders, who were very wise men in those ancient days, guided the wellbeing and happiness of their people with cosmic knowledge, i.e. eternal knowledge. The spiritual Laws of Nature knowledge…and most definitely not the laws of physics knowledge. You know, decimating the atom and altering physical genes and synthetically polluting this Planet to high heaven. Big klingnong trouble from this blind I-can-do-what-I-like science activity soon…according to Alf that is. Anyways, via Cosmic knowledge and special spiritual ceremony, mankind honoured that invisible spiritual intelligence of Creation. Plus, they also knew the exact time for planting, harvesting, thanksgiving and the appropriate ceremony to conduct on all auspicious occasions right throughout the year…and, in that spiritual ceremonial process, correctly honouring the blessings and providence of this beautiful Earth and Universe in its totality of interactive function. ‘Cause everyfing is connected to everyfing through the spiritual component of everyfing. You know, what underwrites physical matter?

Q: What everything you ask?
A: Yes, everyfing, but excluding Hollydud & Co, because they live in stretch limo I-love-me image created product la la land. Along with a few more big buck commercial prime-movers and shakers that create and power our current realities. Particularly within the minds of our vulnerable kids on this planet. Anyways, more about this saturated marketing klingnong matter at world court martial time from grumpy Alf –soon. He is busy at the moment, dishing it out to the top end of town writing the script for all our potty behaviour on this beautiful planet.

Coming back to the original plot:
If a child was born out of that physical union with the deities in human spiritual form, then the spiritual attributes of that deity would reside within the bloodline of that Royal family, i.e. spiritual family. Because the true definition of the word Royal, means spirituality or divinity. From which came the lineage of the Astrologers, the Wise men, the Healers (doctors) and the Psychics…but not Hollywood. Thus from divine karmic influence perpetuated genetically and astrologically, to guide, council and heal and direct the spiritual well-being of that ancient society in its on-going positive evolution to reach the real stars…and not our human created dissolvable ones. You know, that fill the Media created heavens and are on the karmic blink with their twink…according to Alf.

Anyways, as us dissolvable human beings possess a collective unconscious that has a karmic key signature within interactive spiritual Creation, so this knowledge spread around the world as similar forms of worship and expression…but not as entertainment. In fact just like the wheel, the pyramids and now Hollydude and Co. Because we are all invisibly connected by the Comic mind & its universal computer structuring the evolution of Creation and life. You know, the invisible spiritual one that underwrites evolution. That our human mind and its biological computer (called the brain), is a physical dissolvable creation and reflection of.

But that’s a load of Dr Who intergalactic twaddle with spelling mistakes, say all the academics & scientists…well some anyway and other downstairs knockers of anything they do not want understand. ‘Cause we have it on good authority from our famous books (written by us lot downstairs), that you & Alf are telling us a lot of porkies. But not so says Upstairs, I was around then when it was created, you weren’t.. So there, put that in your funny books and electronic gizmo’s and stop drinking ‘caffe latte and researching those dancing pole nightclubs downstairs. Plus, you’ve got the wrong books to boot or you are reading them upside down or somefing.

To continue:
The centuries passed…the deities headed back home for a well earned rest. They returned to heaven…spiritual heaven that is. But not in space ships, sorry about that revelation to all the lost in space science fiction junkies stranded up on Babble’on 5 on Prozac. No, they returned via their spiritual bodies when they had passed on from their physical one’s…and guess what, things went to pot again downstairs. Much human wrong doings saturated the spiritual atmosphere of this beautiful planet once again. The untalented people grew very unhappy, while the worshiped winners got lost in I-love-me in the mirror space. Like on the commercial television & in glossy product magazines and on the catwalk.

Anyways, the long and the short of it all, was that Nature was no longer revered, no longer acknowledged for her dignity…for her beauty…for her creativity. Spiritual decadence crept into the important primordial ego affairs of mankind and man became so insecure within his bonce…you know his head? that he began to denigrate the female in all aspects. She lost the right to choose her mate when the seeds of fertility flowed within her. She became a laughing stock. Crude jokes began to appear on trees. Crude remarks began to be shouted in the forests. Crude drawings turned up everywhere, from clever people in the local temples and taverns she copped the lot.

But no internet, television, video’s, or those other things…you know, glossy product magazines with boobs, bottoms, abs and whatnots in. At least I don’t think so, `cause they hadn’t heard of promo’s, commercial television, big bucks, spin-doctors, marketing geniuses, media moguls, catwalks and ego-preening in those far off days. We had to have progress and democracy first…from all the winners that got made into created products out of promo’s. But, youse try telling the top end of town this and you will really cop the cold shoulder and worse, get sent to writers Coventry for elocution and spelling lessons as payback for telling them they ‘got it wrong’ with their idea of progress.

Anyways, it came to be on this trashed planet, that woman was no longer revered for her creativity, her beauty, her tenderness, her lovingness, her softness, her intelligence, her everythingness…and they have never been the same since. For woman started to emulate man and go bungee jumping and acting as macho men on the adolescent blink and fighting wars and all that Hollybug movie invented trashing jazz. If youse can’t beat ‘em you might as well join ‘em, became the female war cry in Guverments and on the television and movies. We are not staying at home doing the ironing and changing nappies, we are going out to work in the market place and at dancing pole nightclubs to earn our own money and give the noisy kids to some other mug to look after. We are entitled to be macho men just like you lot …echoed down the corridors of female power in high scientific places and universities and glossy magazines. We’ll sort you’se out, because we’ve got the female brains, plus a lot more you haven’t…and guess what, man has never been the same since either.

What a big top end of town marketed product & promo created mix up, women as men and men as women and the kids stuck in the middle and lost in techno dude synthetic product & computer space forever. What a crazy world, I wonder if there is something wrong in our super progressive social system of do-what-you-like and when-you-like. `Cause I’ve got my rights and no one can tell me what to do…unless youse got big bucks and a stretched limo and can get me on the news, television, movies or in a glossy product magazine.

Time for me tea break and go to the loo.

Ripping Yarns part (2).

Anyways, to pick up from where we left off from Ripping Yarns (1). Plus, I’m not happy either. The Boss upstairs does not like being disturbed on trivial matters and, I got a right ear bashing for disturbing his tranquillity on minor inconsequential problems or somefing. Sorry, can’t remember or spell the long words.

Evidentilies, the Boss has sent someone down here to sort all the marketed product promo problems out, only he can’t be heard above all the rackets –no, racket going on down here. Anyways, youse all got to pay attention and stop making so much marketing product noise and living it up on this trashed Planet and go back to drinking tea for a change, so that Alf can do his boot camp job properly. Also, it takes a long time to see the Boss. So in future, its gotta to be something really important for me to be on the receiving end of his gout. It should be youse out of control café latte lot living the jet setting good life copping it, not me.

Well, the reason that the ancient manuscript that I was stuck on with its translation into proper good English (and American for the Pentagon) was so hard to decipher, is because I thought the problem had gone out the back door a few thousand years ago. Like all us learned men did –you know, fairy stories and Lucifer and all that House of Hollydude marketed scary jazz. But evidently, its Beelzebub inheritance keeps cropping up into human affairs every now and then from the karmic seeds of those who created it. You know, their lineage or laundry or somefing? Because we are all related to those who lived thousands of years ago –otherwise no one would be here on this planet now. At least I don’t think so…and no, I ain’t gonna ask the Boss again, me ears are still ringing from last time.

Anyways, its just like that Greek mythology thingo about Jason & the Hardnuts and those seeds that turn into monsters when youse plant them in the wrong place and don’t nurture them properly…like kids? Or, what quality of karmic influence we have sown with our thoughts & deeds down here, remains down here as perpetuated karmic influence in the spiritual workings of Nature. Eventually, we or future generations have to cop its returning karmic influence down the track of time. ‘Cause as human beings, what we sow is what we reap in the spiritual system that underwrites life. Plus, we share a collective conscious within the interactive workings of primordial Nature and its invisible creativity. So from another unseen level of life, its the spiritual primordial intelligence of Nature & its creativity, that returns all human karmic influence we create in its interactive quantum located spiritual workings to those that created it. Therefore, the lineage of those who created its ‘cause & effect’ karmic influence, only with big plus or minus karmic % on top.

So scientifically speaking, that fairy story about ‘as we sow so do we reap’ & ‘what goes around comes around’, is how the ‘Real System’ works and not a fairy story at all, but a hidden karmic fact of human life contained in our on-going evolution. Because even though we are very clever as a species and award ourselves gongs & big bucks for winning, conquering & knowing everyfing, we don’t understand how Upstairs, Nature or ourselves work and we can’t stop unstoppable evolution…only temporarily stuff it up. Anyways, that ego denting hard to understand fact, is what mankind and in particular universities, scientists, big business & politicians know nuffing about…or want to know about. ‘Cause they can’t see it or experiment on it or make big bucks out of it and that agro, gives them chronic indigestion to even think about it. So they don’t think about it and put it in the too hard basket and go back to doing their own thingo & having a good time after rejecting Alf‘s letters and shredding them.

Anyways, the inside & the outside of the shredded matter, is that we must all do the right thing when we are down here on the Planet, whether we like or not. Then, when we leave on our cosmic travels after we have popped off, we haven’t sown the wrong karmic seeds and mucked the downstairs system up for others to inherit its returning karmic influence. But, we don’t leave this planet in spaceships and flying saucers of course, ‘cause there just not reliable enough to reach heaven. Because they are synthetic and manufactured by us clever lot downstairs and subject to rust, decomposition and too much marketed techno warping in media hyper space, movies & comic books. Like from those loony science fiction writers on the blink with their creative twink. Who Alf says, are always stoned out on space junk and live in the land of the klingnongs. Plus, forever dreaming up weirdo stories for scientists, politicians & star trek fans to read at night instead of Alf‘s articles.

Anyways, if we do the right thing down here on the planet, then we don’t upset the primordial system of unstoppable evolution for others to cop its grotty returning karmic influence afterwards. Because that’s what’s happening right now, even as I write this cross-me-heart-and-hope-to-doie true story to youse from the Bronx. ‘Cause I’m unofficially over here at the moment to return a retranslated untranslatable Tablet to their Museum. That they sent to our Museum when they stopped drinking cups of tea ages ago and started importing mugs of café latte instead. No wonder they can’t translate tablets. Anyways, it’s a long story that happened a couple of centuries ago, but I will try and explain…over a cup of tea that is.

Well, it all started at the Boston Tea Party. Evidentilies, your big wigs had invited our big wigs for one of those official overseas dignitary scoffs. That they always have in high places to make sure everyone who’s not having a good time, knows that they are having a good time for them. But, it all went wrong and turned into a right punch-up & gunpowder kerpoffle, when our big wigs said to your big wigs, that they hadn’t paid the Tea Ladies Tax retrospectively since the last overseas dignitary scoff. Anyways, that hard nose declaration from our English big wigs, really upset your American big wigs constitution big time. `Cause they didn’t see why they should have to pay a tea tax in-between official scoffs, especially when they weren’t over in England to drink it. Quite right too, when youse think about it?

Anyways, your big wigs spat the political dummy over that unfair tea tax and stirred all the local Natives up and said by constitutional law, that everyone could carry blunderbusses and flintlocks to protect them from the overseas English Red Coat Tea Tax Collectors. Then your big wigs promptly dumped all the imported tea bags into the Boston Harbour and said to our big wigs, “tax that lot if you can”. Well, it was all very beneficial to the constitution of the fish swimming around in the Harbour…because they read tablets good now through drinking tea. But evidentilies, it wasn’t very beneficial to anyone else’s Constitution. Because they had a big war over it that emptied their Tax Coffers and both Nations went broke and had to go on the dole.

Anyways, its unproductive karmic influence has been floating around in Boston Harbour & the American System ever since. So that now, everyone carries guns and goes around shooting at things that go bump in the night and other human things they do not like. So officially, that’s what I’m over here to try and fix for Upstairs. Because its antiquated law has gone past the use by date in its worded Constitution and needs to be amended in the 21st century. Otherwise the American people will never get to heaven to collect their harp and that’s a shame, according to Upstairs. Because they mean well in their Constitution but, have got it wrong where those words progress & democracy are concerned. Just like a lot of other Nations in the World that don‘t understand themselves or Upstairs. They only think they do?

Well as I was saying before I got verbally shredded by the opposition. According to Upstairs, its time to settle the karmic books and start again downstairs. Not only with the Tea Ladies Tax, but also in Hollybug and Co and everywhere where they are stoned out on caffe latte & commercial television in this civilization. That now worships big bucks, winning & human beings called winners to acquire self-esteem. Evidentilies, the primordial spiritual system that underwrites physical life & its evolution, just can’t take anymore ‘got it wrong‘ human beings doing what they like with their creativity downstairs. Like in that ‘critical mass’ thingo that the scientists have created and are always talking about over cups of caffe latte and biscuits in their laborotoriums & underground atom bunkers…and just can’t stop talking about it, can’t help themselves. Even when they go on holidays with Mum and the Kids and Auntie Mabel to Afghanistan and Iraq or somefing.

No, they are always getting into trouble from Upstairs for all that funny science dude language they’ve invented to explain how the Universe works. Sorry, I got that wrong, how it don’t work I mean. At least not according to Alf, and he’s pretty knowledgeable about how the ‘Real System’ works. Not like in Hollydud, but that’s another potty story. So I’d better get on with this one, otherwise I will be getting into trouble again from all directions and not only from the big wigs in the British Museum, the White House, the Media Circus, Science Fiction Writers, the Book Club and Hollybug & Co.

Now coming back to what I was saying before I got interripted:

Every two thousand years…give or take a few science wobbles, the Solar System goes round one spititual cycle and somefing very nice happens. Them guess what…and I didn’t know this, every ten thousand years the Universe goes around too. To then and start again within the hapless happenings of human beings and especially the big wigs in the driving seat running it all. Anyways, according to Alf‘s tealeaves, it must be something to do with that fairy story about ‘what goes around comes around & what goes up must come down again…like karma. You know, that other fairy story that isn’t a fairy story in the ‘Real System’ upstairs, only in our human created systems downstairs.

Anyways, it’s all a bit above my head, but I will try and explain it again in scientific dude language this time, that I haven’t quite got the hang of yet. `Cause I can’t write articles without making spelling mistakes yet. Plus, I don’t drink caffe latte, watch commercial television or read glossy magazines and science fiction books at night or in the loo. Evidentilies, the unknown Upstairs fact of the karmic matter, is that all influence created by the human being, is returned to the human being –sooner or later. If youse don’t cop it personally, because you are not on terra-firma anymore (down here on the planet?) then those you have left behind cop it. You know, the family tree and all that. Its perpetuated karmic influence is also contained in our genes. So its really two channels of influence that we have to cop from our ancestors. One is in our bloodline and the other is ‘written in the stars’…so to speak.

Because it is the interactive spiritual based influence of our solar system and its planets, that is also the primordial archetypal intelligence of our physical minds and bodies and personalities. You know, it manifests as our biology, genes & chemistry and all that hard to understand scientific stuff. Because according to the book of Alf, life has gotta have come from somewhere, ‘cause nuffing comes from nuffing. That means whether we like to admit it or not, there must be somefing greater and more intelligent than us dissolvable human beings that created everyfing and of course, that‘s where the word God comes into human affairs to explain its paradox through Religion and its human written books.

Because when youse think about that statement of ‘nuffing comes from nuffing’ and work it out, logic says that everyfing down here and in the Universe must have come from somewhere or somefing to be here in the first place. Otherwise there wouldn’t be anyfing anywhere or any place and nuffing would exist to experiment on and re-arrange in those science laborotoriums. But youse try telling the scientists and other clever people that nuffing comes from nuffing, and they will send you to elocution & spelling lessons as well the funny farm for thought rehabilitation. Because in questioning the activity of Science and talking about spirituality & God, you’ve obviously lost your marbles and become a bad influence on Society called a nutcase by some and a science heretic by others.

In fact just like in the Middle Ages, when the then resident Pope in Rome blew his top and confiscated all the telescopes & science fiction books in the world. Because some nutcases called scientists, had been peering into them and telling the people that our Earth wasn’t the centre of the Universe and that it was sort of round, like an orange. When of course, everyone in the Vatican and in the bottom end of town knew that it is was flat and that you would fall off it if you went for a long walk with the dog. Anyways, for telling big porkies to the people, they got branded a heretic by the Pope and roasted over the coals and sent to science purgatory. Anyways, in this century, its Alf’s turn to be a heretic and get roasted by the scientists and not the Pope for telling big porkies to the people. At least that’s what tea lady at the British Museum where I work reckons…and I don’t argue with the tea lady about anyfing. Because she controls the biscuits as well as the tea trolley.

So according to the heretic book of Alf, its from another spiritual dimension of Creation that the primordial archetypal intelligence of Nature materializes to structure our physical bodies & evolution. As well as containing all our human created karmic influence too in its spiritual domain that underwrites Life, our Universe, our Planets and their solar cycles, but not in push-bikes. `Cause they haven’t got them Upstairs yet, only space junk from Nasta and the Pentagon and plastic bottles, tins and fast food wrappers from you know who? (not allowed to advertise on official business).

But, youse try telling the Scientists that and they will lock you up…or worse still, experiment on you with a blindfold on and re-arrange you in those laborotoriums to see what makes you tick funny. Like they do with everything else that walks, talks, moves or wriggles on this living planet. Well on second thoughts, not all Scientists. Some are very nice people indeed and talk the talk and know what is up and what is down. If youse get my negative/positive human creativity drift in those laborotoriums, underground atom bunkers, the script writing brigade, the book club & commercial television.

Anyways, if you want to avoid men in white coats carting you away to the funny farm, best to keep this new heretical information top secret for the time being. Until the good scientists…the positive nice ones that don‘t mind my rotten spelling, gain control of things down here once more and start pressing the right and not the wrong buttons in Science. Because some of the ‘got it wrong’ ones, that look like butter wouldn’t melt in their mouths and can talk the hind-leg off a donkey and work for the multi-nationals, are really cuckoo and on power pills and way out of order with their brilliant scientific intelligence. That means they are also way out of order and lost in techno, gm & Dr Strangelove space with what they are synthetically creating out of their superior intelligence and flogging it to us marketed product mugs.

Plus, all they have to say is those magic words Progress, Science, Big Bucks, The Economy, Nobel and New Frontier’s to conquer with genome technology, animals, wigglies, the atom and outer space. Along with that other clincher of an argument from the politicians, to save Mankind from its own created problems and get re-elected again by a grateful public. So that Guverments just cave into those super brilliant ideas from incomplete Science and cough up the readies for them to do what they like in their laborotoriums, underground atom trashing bunkers & science fiction books.

In fact, just like Guverments give the official greed nod to Big Bizo and the global Piggy Banks to own the World and gobble it up from out of Multi-national Corporations and all their got-it-in-the-bag I’m-alright jump-in-jack affluent global shareholders. All living the jet setting money making stocks & shares good life at the expense of the planet and us marketed product brainwashed mugs…and that’s really weirdo when youse think about it. `Cause we let ‘em do it and say thank you very much afterwards and can I have some more please sir.

Along with allowing obsessive corporate global expansion, takeovers, monopolization and the control of Nation’s economies and lots of other out of control big buck activity. All being justified in the name of progress, democracy, free enterprise and affluence on a level playing field they have made, not us. Because we ain’t allowed on it, not even to bring the tea and biscuits to boardroom where it all happens. `Cause they even made the tea lady profession redundant to make more money for their shareholders, who only drink café latte on walkways and pavements.

What a ‘orrible unfair corporate & media & marketing genius created product mess indeed. In fact it’s full of Darth’s brownie points and unmenchinable things that go bump in the night in the boardroom, as well on commercial television. According to Alf that is, who only drinks tea and doesn’t read glossy magazines or science fiction books or go dancing with the stars on commercial television or at those dancing pole nightclubs. But no one else see’s it Alf’s way of course, `cause they are all stoned out on corporate magic mushrooms and into big bucks, gizmo products and celebrity worshiping mania, as well as cooking programs & caffeine overdose.

Evidentlies, we are all watching too much commercial television and crappy days of our product prozact out lives and other T.V. Soapies, Reality Shows, Boobs & Abs Programs, Hollydud & Co and Question Time In The House. At least that’s what Alf and the Tea Lady reckon and Alf’s usually right about the shenanigans of the stars and the politicians and their closet wheelie dealie doings…and, he don’t get it out of human whatnot impregnated I-love-me glossy magazines and its look how successful, brilliant and beautiful I am marketing genius promo spiel either. No, he uses them for mulching in his garden and in another place we all use everyday…for economy purposes that is.

Anyways, coming back to what I was saying before about the Devil and all that spooky jazz that no one believes in anymore. Evidentlies, there’s these bad dudes downstairs (you know, the opposition to Upstairs) and these powerful dudes are jetting around doing their own karmic inherited do-what-you-like thingo…and its their ancestors, who created that grotty karmic influence of megalomania, greed & worshiping human beings called winners in the first place…that’s why they are stuck with doing it in this life. ‘Cause scientifically speaking, its karmic influence is passed on from one generation to another in their gene line. You know, their ancestral inheritance and all that. That’s why its influence is still in the system of some ‘got it wrong’ human beings on this planet and what Alf calls the Faust enigma. You know, forever doing wheelie dealies with the opposition to Upstairs to get what they want in life downstairs and have a good time at Fred‘s Casino and those dancing pole nightclubs.

Anyways, recently the bad dudes have been trying to get their Boss back by doing a load of chanting and geriatric theatricals and dressing up as fruitloops, but not in Hoollyrude of course. No, they just dress-down instead, like in the movies and video’s and glossy magazines full of created products and the body beautiful. Evidentlies, they make more money by having no clothes on when there doing their marketed promo thingo down here –you know, showing off their abs and boobs & whatnots and singing, acting and chanting nursery rhymes and clapping each other afterwards…like in adult pantomimes and all that. In fact just like at Oscar’s Place, where they even collect statues for doing it with no clothes on…after hours that is.

Evidentlies, its all to do with having a karmic screw loose and doing what you like and how you like and calling it entertainment, celebrity, stardom, fame and artistic freedom of expression. Sort of like being in kindergarten as a kid only worse. No, they just haven’t grown up yet and learnt how to act socially responsible and with dignity in a Society. At least that’s what Upstairs says…and they should know, ‘cause they made ‘em. But not anymore, Upstairs has had enough of them doing their own ego preening cat walk thingo downstairs and calling it progress, success and being a winner. Plus, getting paid millions of bucks for stuffing everything positive up on the planet with their karmic influence. Just like a lot of other people at the moment in entreprenudial big global corporate bizo.

Well, as I was saying before I got carried away with me verbals. What’s really got up the noses of these powerful bad dudes lately, is that they’ve just found out that our Boss has beat ‘em to it –he’s already here. In fact just like Dr Who and the Tardis on the BBC, he’s been here for ages. Which means of course, that they just can’t win at playing gods & goddesses or dialeks & klingnongs anymore, like their used to doing all the time. No, they muffed it good and proper last year at their annual picnic day from all their weirdo chanting and Hollybug antics of worshiping statues, each other, marketed products, the body beautiful and its whatnots.

Anyways, according to the Delphi Oracle and not Alf this time, its down the cosmic tubes they all go in the finger pointing departure lounge. Unless they get their ‘got it wrong’ Darth act together and grow up instead of down –honest. Because according to Alf, its like winning a family race. ‘Cause the elder son, is always going to beat his younger brothers and sisters to the finishing line. Simply because he’s been around much longer and he knows how the Upstairs brownie point system works, i.e. first come first served and I’m Dad’s favourite in the finger pointing departure lounge.

So from now on, all that selfish klingnong do-what-you-like activity for the Media worshiped few, has got to change. So that everyone can pass the finish line together all grown up…assuming they want too? Then everyone can get a pat on the back and a gong for being successful and happy with their lot on this shared Planet –and not just the gifted, privileged and wealthy and so-called successful. All living the human created good life on extra serotonin from being worshiped by the Media and from telling others what to do and how to do it to be called successful and a winner in life. Because Alf reckons they are not winners Upstairs, only downstairs. Where it don’t count in the departure lounge when we trash everything and go around worshiping ourselves & big bucks to acquire self-esteem.

So according to Upstairs, that ‘orrible got it wrong human created system downstairs and its human created reality has got to change if we want to get to heaven. Because that ‘got it wrong’ system of inequality and greed and I’m alright jack and the manipulation and exploitation of those who are weaker and born less fortunate, are in for the high jump. You know, straight out of Creation in the departure lounge with no return ticket and all that hard cheese jazz.

Anyways, coming back to the fairy story…as some might say.

The eldest son is always in charge of Family matters whenever Dad’s gone away on big bizo, after he reaches twenty one that is. It evidently has something to do with the natural functioning of the spiritual Laws of Nature and, not many people realize these spiritual Laws or have intuitive access to them anymore in their commercial product & marketing genius brainwashed brainbox. No, they are far to busy doing their own product thingo downstairs and having a jolly good time at Fred’s gambling casino in the desert, or was it bad time? (dunno, can’t remember) to realize God’s intelligence within Creation. For that’s what the Laws of Nature are in their spiritual manifestation within the human mind. To prevents us from going off the rails and into product & human worshiping la la land, like we are now.

In fact all of life-intelligence functions through those spiritual self-referral Laws of Nature. The animals are in tune with them through instinct, therefore positive progress for them within evolution is automatic. We unfortunately, are out of tune with them, because we have the human power to ignore those intuitive spiritual Natural Laws and their ‘order out of chaos’ function in our brain. Especially when we become lost in making big bucks and worshiping products, winners and celebrities to acquire self-esteem. Because its those spiritual Laws of Nature, that should compliment the human mind and its creativity to function and live in perfect harmony with everything in Creation. Not treat it like a kids meccano game and lego from all its bits & pieces and wigglies and calling it progress and technological innovation and conquering new fronteirs. What a science created synthetic toxic stuff-up it all is, according to the articles of Alf that is. Because evidentlies, we are polluting everything and gobbling up the planet’s irreplaceable resources in that so-called progress for mankind…and that’s very weirdo. According to the book of Alf and the tea lady at the British Museum where I work translating too hard to translate Assyrian Tablets.

Which brings us back to some of those fruitloop big wig Scientists again, who are not in Upstairs good books one little bit. Simply because they are always experimenting on everything willy-nilly and swapping bits and pieces and parts around to see what happens afterwards. You know, like in Frankenstein and the Island of Dr Moreou or Professor Morriarti or somefing…sorry can’t spell names. Then patting themselves on the back and collecting gongs because they THINK they’ve passed the finish line and can get the Media trumpets out to blast us all with its techno dude information. When of course they haven’t. No, the Boss says they haven’t got a clue –but are very good at convincing us lot that they know everything, because they are clever. Or was it not so clever, dunno can’t remember all the words now.

Anyways, the long and the shredded of it, is that Upstairs wants all those Scientist’s that are experimenting ad hoc with other life-intelligence and the atom and doing what they like with anything and everything, to “down tools” until we have reached the end of Alf’s talking journey. If they do not listen and understand a different reality than theirs, then they are in for the high jump good and proper. You know, down the cosmic tubes in the departure lounge with their spiritual evolution. We must all understand, that we cannot do just what we like on this delicate biological living planet with our human intelligence & creativity. No, wisdom, ethics, foresight, humility, empathy and understanding ourselves & Nature must come into it too, and those spiritual acquired qualities are currently missing in our material consumed Civilization. In Nature’s dictionary, it is called acquiring maturity of consciousness and the consideration of Creation as a very intelligent interacting system of invisible archetypal spiritual intelligence –yet very delicate & vulnerable to the wrong doings of human beings.

Anyways, we all live on this shared Planet, not just those in incomplete Science. `Cause once they create something in their synthetic laborotoriums and put it into the system of life, we are all influenced by it –for good or for bad…and, it is mostly bad at the moment in the form of synthetic toxic pollution for those who come after us. Upstairs reckons we are blind with our scientific twiddling with the atom and experimenting on life & re-arranging everything in Creation. Because this synthetic polluting activity, is unknowingly destroying the means for life to exist on this living evolving planet. So we have to understand where life comes from and the intelligence that created it, before continuing any more of that so-called scientific progress for mankind. Otherwise, according to Alf and his tealeaves, its pop goes the weasel and good night Mr Chips for our species down the track of time.

Anyways, I’ve gotta go now and book a urgent ticket with Upstairs to get home quick. `Cause I’ve just been summonsed by the British Museum big wigs on me intergalactic cell phone, to get myself back in the office to explain what I’m doing over here with their Tablets in the opposition’s Museum. Anyways, I’ve asked Alf to post this at www Articlesbase in his articles, ‘cause I aint got an article account their with my rotten spelling. And I’ll go and post some other translations of the Celestine Pothole manuscripts on notice boards in the bottom end of town…then youse can all start working it out. Then after I’ve had a cup of tea and sorted out that tea ladies tax problem, I‘ll be back with some important leaflets explaining how to get to heaven by understanding how the ‘Real System’ works and practising correct meditation.

Kind regards – Stephen Gripes on behalf of Upstairs.

p.s. Just got home.

I forgot to mention, that Upstairs says if we keep worshiping I-love-me Hollybug & Co and Oscar’s, days of our got it wrong lives and other TV lost in la la land soapies, celebrities, winners and human created products from the commercial media circus, along with the loony tunes advertising/marketing and talk the hind-leg of a donkey brigades on the equally product brain damaged commercial television, then we will not go to heaven…but the opposition. `Cause he’s got gout…the Boss that is. He reckons us noisy product worshiping adults down here have given it to him. So we will have to see him first if we keep on that Media created funny farm path of worshiping other human beings for their looks and talents and abs and whatnots and its top end of town directed ‘Simon Says’ do this to acquire self-esteem.

p.p.s. The Boss reckons that immature hollydude hype and its psychological manipulation from clever human beings does not belong in Heaven. So it should not belong on this beautiful Earth and especially when we turn twenty one. So all those lost in its I-love-me look-how-successful and beautiful-I-am ego preening product space, have got to grow up and learn to respect the Planet and Nature and other not born fortunate human beings doing it hard in the stalls. Anyways, more about this Hollybug human worshiping klingnong matter from grumpy Alf soon, `Cause its nuffing to do with me. I only translate too hard to translate tablets, like this one. Anyways, I’m going for me tea break before the big wigs in the office upstairs scoff all the biscuits again, like that lot upstairs at the BBC, but that’s another story.

p.p.p.s.

Nearly forgot. Upstairs also says to all those perpetuating garbage creativity on this beautiful Planet that we all share, here’s a capital letter sticker for the stretched limo bumper bar. Especially in Hollybug, Big Global Corporate Bizo, the Piggy Banks and in other wheelie dealie big buck commercial places in the top end of town.

Updated downstairs quote:

THERE ARE MORE THINGS IN HEAVEN AND EARTH THAN EVER DREAMED OF IN OUR HUMAN CREATED REALITIES.

So I reckon that bloke Shakespeare the Bard got it right in one of his famous plays about ‘got it wrong’ powerful human beings on the blink with their ancestral inheritance…what do youse think? Youse can answer that question here at Articlebase if youse want to. But only for a little while, cause I’m going on me archaeological digging holidays soon and don’t know when I’ll be back. Its up to the Boss, because he’s got the annual leave dates, I haven’t.

About the Author

The author is a retired hands-on businessman that has taken up writing in his old age to keep his hands & mind busy. His articles are of self-help value in the spiritual & mind department and the understanding of life. They also contain new knowledge in the fields of psychology, religion and spirituality that is NOT mainstream in society. This is the purpose of the created characters of Alf & Stephen Gripes, to bring that knowledge into circulation in different formats of presentation & delivery across the diverse structure of society.

William John Hatten – the Author.

Eric Prydz Live @ Room 26, Rome – On Off live mix

House music is an electronic dance music style that originated in the early 1980s in Chicago, Illinois. It was originally made popular during this period in many discotheques that catered to various communities, including Latino American, African-American, and gay. House music eventually spread into Detroit, Los Angeles, Miami, and New York City. It hit Europe before going main stream around the globe in the 1990s.

House music is strongly influenced by funk and soul-infused types of disco. This music genre tends to mimic the percussion found in disco music, but also showcases other prominent features, including electronic drums, pop and funk samples, synthesizer bass-line, electronic effects, and re-verb enhanced vocals.

There are many different stories behind how the musical genre got the name “house.” One story is that the title “house music” originated from The Warehouse, a Chicago-based nightclub running from 1977 to 1982 and was often visited by gay Latino and black men. The DJ of The Warehouse, Frankie Knuckles, said in a documentary that the name “house music” originated after he and some friends passed a sign that said “we play house music” and his friends joked that this was the type of music Knuckles played. A 1985 recording by Chip E. called “It’s House” may have also assisted in creating the name for the new music genre. However, Chip E. states that the name came from music bins at a record store that had music played by Knuckles and was marked “As Heard at the Warehouse,” which was eventually shortened to “House.”

Today, house music is celebrated. In Chicago, where it began, August 10, starting in 2005, was said to be “House Unity Day” to mark the anniversary of house music. There are also a number of fusion genres available today including tech house and electro house. House music is celebrated every year at the Burning Man Festival in Nevada.

I am a professional writer with an experience in SEO. I started working as a full-time web content provider/SEO writer/rewriter more than a year ago. I have been commissioned to undertake a wide range of writing tasks, such as writing articles for article directories, product reviews, and blog posts, law articles and press releases. Drop me a line at, nainbear@gmail.com

Neo Chicago – Neo’s Stigmata (Neo Nightclub Chicago, IL)

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BDSM and Fetish travel and vacations spots

It is amazing how many wonderful BDSM and fetish travel and vacations spots there are in Stockholm. For instance there are a number of gay nightclubs available in Stockholm for lesbians that go by the name of Captain Kinky Pinky. If you are interested in those, you may look for them online by that name. Also found in Stockholm is Club G. Inside is a mix of gays, lesbians, and assorted straights which has three separate dance floors. You may also wish to look for Combustion Parties, which travel about but are very open to BDSM clubbing. Idyl is another, which hold feminist parties in Stockholm. Open specifically in summertime, another party is called Mälarpaviljongen, where people arrive by boat and is very “fetishy.”

In the United States, one of the absolutely best places to travel to is the San Francisco Citadel, located at 1277 Mission St. There you will find a dual level community dungeon or playspace available for all kinds of weekend sex parties. You are guaranteed to find pure relaxation there, in a space that is equipped with virtually everything you have ever imagine for play, fetish and of course bondage. People come from all over the world now to meet with some of the sexiest, and very kinky BDSM women and men that can be found in the region. Now, that is one of the neatest BDSM and Fetish travel and vacations spots available.

In Philadelphia, you may wish to travel to the Royal Castle which is “lady” owned, where you can meet a number of Mistresses such as Goddess Athena. You may have to ask a taxi driver how to get there though.

In Chicago, do be sure and visit the Leather Archives Museum, 6418 N. Greenview Avenue, Chicago, IL 60626 whose phone number is (773) 761-9200. Inside there you will find that it is a museum and a library, and contains archives of alternative sexual practices, sadomasochism, fetishism and leather. The archives are from around the world, and include all fetishes as well as genders. Inside the library are electronic resources, films, scholarly publications, magazines and many published books. However, the archives contain unpublished records and papers from organizations, businesses, artists and notable activists that can be found nowhere else! It is quite a testament to the lifestyle, no matter how it is enjoyed, and be it used as a fetish or a completely lifestyle. An amazing cross section of human needs awaits your inspection.

About the Author

subby lilo is a writer for Kinky Cohorts. KinkyCohorts.com is a community website where people with various fetishes and kinks can meet, exchange ideas, start a group or a blog.

KinkyCohorts.com offers features similar to those offered by conventional community websites.

Documentary – Chicago Nightlife Politics

Do you think children of women prisoners are better off “living with mom” inside prisons?

Children living in prison with their Mothers rattle off what they like best about their community: the mess hall, their friends, the food, the paint — and, for many, just “living with mom.”
They’re living with mom, however, inside the Women’s Correctional Facility in La Paz, Bolivia. There are about 250 prisoners here — and also 100 kids. In fact, the country’s lock-ups house more than 1,400 children behind electrified, fence-topped walls and below shotgun-guarded towers. Among the prisoner-mothers at the Women’s Correctional Facility is Andrea Virginia Tapia, who has been behind bars for four years and is expected to be released next year. (She won’t discuss her crime.) “Above all in this life, I am a mother,” says Tapia, who is in her 30s and is the mother of seven kids, four of whom live in the prison with her.

that would depend on what is outside the prison gates for the children, maybe they want to be with thier mothers and have more stabilioty in the prison , it depends on what alternative there is for them

as a very young baby it would be best to stay with mum

Grazi – La Zampa en Thelonious Bar, La Paz, Bolivia 31/01/09

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Are there any sports bars that play all NFL games in the West Hollywood area?

I want to watch the Vikings game tomorrow and I’m looking for something close to West Hollywood.

Try this place. It got a #4 rating among “top sports bars in Los Angeles”:

Barneys Beanery, 8447 Santa Monica Blvd., Hollywood CA 90069 (323) 654-2287

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Where is the best nightlife in LA?

I’ll be spending 4 days in LA and am deciding on what area to stay in to be close to great bars and clubs in the evening. I’m considering Santa Monica, Hollywood or maybe even out in Orange County (Huntingdon, Newport or Laguna). What area is best for good nightlife in LA?

West Hollwood/Hollywood then Santa Monica and a distant 3rd, Orange County.

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Visit to London! What is the best of the best?

Me and a friend (24 men), will visit the city and country London, England, in a A little over a week I have some questions about my trip. 1. Liverpool bar more friendly to have a game? 2. best bar / club / pub in CND March. best place to see a show comedy. 4. anything else you really do not miss this is normal "list" of tourists … I see London, not only to see it! in question 4 I'm looking for things a normal 24 / o can not lose, you may have with the party, but keep in mind that I was a big story for much information is welcome Thanks for your help ..

Do not go see the usual – the Tower, St. Paul, the London Eye, one of the largest art museums. I recommend the small collection of Wallace or the Museum of Sir John Soames, because they are more intimate and generally not crowded. The Globe Theatre. Take public transport to Hampton Court Palace and Kew Gardens.

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Memorable Moments in New York City and Its Hotels

Have a memorable trip to New York City! Fun & excitement waits for you in every corner of the city. The splendid life style of people of the city is awe-inspiring. Both day and night life of New York City is passionate and there are all kinds of recreational centers around the city. Bars, puffs, restaurants, theatre, clubs and other many more modern cultures prevail in the city in huge numbers. Tourists get so much engaged in these recreational activities that they never feel bore or alone in New York City. However, the city also presents its exciting culture, fashion, art, world class museums, monuments, skyscrapers and above all the city houses different categories of hotel accommodations that include Discount and Deluxe Hotels In New York City. For instance, the hotels like Hilton Hotel, La Quinta Inn Queens, Best Western President, etc some of the luxury hotels worth to mention.

When you select the luxury motels for your stay then such hotels not only accommodate you for mere staying but it offers lots of entertaining activities like celebrating your special day in the nice arrangements of halls where delicious meals and drinks are served. Deluxe or luxury hotels offer discount price in their hotel service, room rents, taxes, etc. In the festivals and special occasions like Christmas and New Year hotel rents are cheaper in comparison to rents that exist whole year. Discount Hotels In New York are having thousands and thousands of room accommodations. So any time you can accommodate yourself in one of such hotel rooms.

New York City tour is an interesting matter for all because you can experience helicopter tour, bus tour, ferry tour, etc. The city of New York is also known for its famous museums, galleries, ancient architecture, and other various recreational venues. The alluring tourist destinations are the Empire State Building, Central Park, the Statue of Liberty, Times Square and Broadway. To see and experience all such wonders New York City Hotels have the excellent arrangements of conveyance for tourist.

About the Author

Checkout the hot deals for New York City Hotels. Book your Deluxe Hotels In New York City and save big amount. Last minute deals for Discount Hotels In New York.

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360 Gay Night Club Bar Network Videos : Flo : Kansas City

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My first visit to Dubai, tips for your holidays?

Im planning to go to Dubai next week 4 nights. There will be 9 of us 20-24 years, mixed group of boys and girls and will stay in apartments in Bur Dubai … We probably want to go to the beach, shopping, good restaurants, but the cheap food, maybe check the Ski Dome and the Dubai Creek. Would you recommend Wild Wadi Water Park? And today is the busiest day in the park? We prefer spend a quiet day … What are the best bars and night clubs for tourists, I have heard good things about 360 and Rockbottom … Another person, as these locations? Other travel tips or advice would be greatly appreciated!

Although these tips for you … 1) Mall of the Emirates – little shopping / dining room and Marina Walk Ski – Try any coffee Burj Al Arab – Visits (expensive for dinner) Madinat Jumeirah, tourist and a bar through it Wild Wadi Tour Desert (Safari) Jumeirah Beach Park (Friday busy day, but Nice) Dubai Creek (QD) Wafi City, Deira City Centre – Shopping 2) Clubs and bars in what you really need to go to Club-400-C -360 Barasti bar (Nice 9pm to 01:00 am and then go to another night club to save and view others), Mint (Friday only)-Zinc-Trilogy There are many things to do, but his stay is only for 4 nights! Happy Holidays:)

Dubai Nightlife – Discover Dubai

Bournemouths “gaza Strip”

Bournemouths “Gaza Strip”

Its True! Bournemouth “Gaza Strip” DOES exist – at least thats what the locals in the suburb of Charminster call it …

Bournemouth – An Introduction

“Sunny Bournemouth” is just 100 miles away from London, on the south coast of England – it is nearly opposite the Isle of Wight, and famous for its music festival and many yacht regattas.

The town is home to over 200,000 people, which swells by many thousands at weekends and during the Summer months – it is a well known resort with many hotels, restaurants, and leisure activities on-hand.

At one point in Bournemouths history there were more hotel bedrooms within its boundaries than any other city in Europe outside of London, with approximately 30,000 beds.

The town also benefits by being a premier English language teaching centre, with many schools attracting students from all over the world to learn English.

Where to Go – What to Do

Bournemouth is in the county of Dorset and is an ideal tourist base. Tourists benefit from a nine mile Sandy Beach, and it is well-placed for visits to Salisbury, Stonehenge, Winchester, the New Forest and Dorchester (the famous market town residing in whats known as ” Hardy Country”). The Jurassic Coast World Heritage Site is only 45 minutes away, with over 90 miles of stunning coastline containing fossils dating back 180 million years recording Earths history.

The weather is so clement in Bournemouth that Palm trees flourish year round. Its a very green town, with many parks and an abundance of fine Championship golf courses. It also benefits from its growing international airport, which already services many European countries, with direct flights to major cities and resorts in the Mediterranean.

Nearby is the Sandbanks Penisula, which has some of the most expensive homes in the world – the houses have beautiful views of the Purbeck Hills and across one of the worlds largest and most stunning natural harbours anywhere – it provides the perfect environment for sailing and watersports. The mudflats and salt marshes are an ecological paradise for roosting birds.

There are three theatres – The Pavilion, The Pier Theatre and the Bournemouth International Centre. We also have multiplex Cinemas, the Russell Coates Museum, an oceanarium. two piers, beautiful gardens and a pedestrianised shopping area running from the east to the west of the town joining at the the Town Centre called The Square, which usually has a number of attractions throughout the year culminating in the German Christmas Market. The town also boasts its own large international conference and exhibition Centre called the B.I.C. At certain times of the year the main leisure centre has an ice rink installed. During the Summer months there is a free firework display near Bournemouth Pier on Friday Nights.

Bournemouth is also one of the hottest spots in Europe for young people going clubbing. It is also a firm favourite for stag and hen parties.

Bournemouth was recently voted the “Happiest Place to Live in the United Kingdom” – it received a vote of over 82% to take first place.

The ” Gaza Strip ”

Let me reveal all about the “Strip”. I have already mentioned the great influx of language students visiting our town – they used to come Spring to Autumn, but nowadays the schools are very busy all year round, such is the demand for English as a language worldwide. The consequence is that Bournemouth has become one of the most truly cosmopolitan towns in the United Kingdom.

To answer the needs of these new temporary residents, the main street in Charminster has burgeoned with bars, restaurants, cafes and shops selling exotic ethnic foods. Most of the owners of these outlets tend to be from the Middle East, with Italians, Spanish, Portuguese and Turkish people supplementing their numbers. Korean,Japanese,Chinese and Asian foodshops are on the increase. It has made the main street a vibrant and colourful place to eat, drink and shop.

The bars and restaurants tend to serve food and drink all day long – you wont go hungry on the Gaza Strip.

There has, I have noticed, been a change in the body language and traditional greetings of the English, due to the influence of the traders and the students – many more men kiss and hug each other in the street quite readily! I have also noticed more back-slapping and handshaking than would have been seen previously.

All in all, the Gaza has benefitted the community as a whole. Also, due to the Smoking ban in shops and bars, there are more people lining the street – they have adopted an almost bazaar-type comradeship. If you take a ride along the Gaza, youll notice the number of people calling out to each other with jokes and comments across the street, previously unknown in conservative England.

Depending which end of the strip you start from, the boundaries of the “Gaza” are as follows: starting from the north, you have Sinbads Restaurant at the traffic lights, commonly known as “Kebab Juction and the Corner of the Gaza” (this was a genuine instruction to a taxi driver by a passenger, and he was taken straight there), you reach the end of the strip in the south at Tesco Express. In-between these junctions, you can feast on just about any mouthwatering food you desire.

Restaurants & Bars

Listed below are but a few of the venues on the “Strip”. I have also included the nationalities of the owners, who have spotted the opportunity to provide services to an extended community. They are to be congratulated for their foresight and capital investment in turning what was a mediocre suburban shopping street into a vibrant experience for all to enjoy.

In no particular order:

Sebis Brasserie

Iranian Owner

Serves mainly continental food and a varied selection of wines, open until late, very popular in the evenings, gets very busy, mainly due to the efforts of Miguel, Marco, Einstein ( Ali ) Guzel and Ishmael the Boss -all great lads who always have a smile and a welcome for you… not to mention their wicked cocktails.

The Nippon Inn

Japanese / English Owner

This little restaurant and bar is run by Steve and his Japanese wife; they are right next door to Sebis, and serve some amazing versions of Japanese food resembling Spanish Tapas… nice people.

Salsa

Syrian Owner

This small, friendly bar restaurant has a reputation for Italian / Spanish food with a fair smattering of Middle Eastern meals. It benefits from having a very sunny patio, where you can while away the time and enjoy eating garlic olives, a slice of pizza and a glass or two of wine whilst watching the antics of the people parading up and down the Gaza. Tariq is mine host and will always give you the time of day.

Peppinos

Iranian Owner

Serves mainly Italian food and wines together with that lovely Peroni beer, open until late, very popular in the evenings, gets very busy – they have great Jazz nights and always do their best to provide lively entertainment.

Sal e Pepe

Iranian Owner

A great Italian restaurant operated by the lovely Nikki and Nico the owners, upmarket food and drink for the discerning, just wish they opened at lunchtime again.

San Lorenzos

Italian Owner

Certainly the most famous Italian restaurant on the strip, very friendly, and ably run by Ann and Lorenzo for many years. This restaurant has a very long association with the soccer fraternity, having hosted many dinners for professional footballers when they have come to compete in the town.

You also have the following to choose from:

Havanas Night Club… The Vibe Nightclub… Bar Zuka… Retro… San Miguel… Baraca… Damascus… Bedouin… Pasa Mr Falafael…

STOP PRESS… Soon to be opened by an Englishman will be an “American Diner” – ah, but he is half Italian… God bless.

All of these venues, and this is by no means a complete list, are owned or operated by the following nationalities:

Lebanese, Israeli, Turkish, Morroccan, Palestinian, French Algerian… these great people have made the “Gaza Strip” what it is today. Many Thanks, all.

The Sad Part

I have a sad observation to make, there is only One pub on the Gaza. Its called the Richmond Arms, and what a state the Brewery has let it get into. It has one of the biggest Gardens of any pub locally, and borders a least 100 feet of the “Strip”, separated only by dingy railings. This once happy and vibrant community pub is now in a disgraceful state of decor. The opportunity to be a showcase on this thriving street, and to attract back a bountiful customer base,is being ignored. Given the effort our Middle Eastern friends have put in (and quality, too ), the brewery should be ashamed.

A Question ?

Why do the people of Spain enjoy the freedom of choice when it comes to where you can and cannot smoke in a Bar / Restaurant environment.

I am led to understand that if premises are under a certain square meterage say 100 or that said premise only has a capacity for upto 100 people then they can apply for and are granted a license which they display on their front door advising the public that they make smoke within…how sensible.

The question is of course …..can it be done in the United Kingdom.

A Good Part

For the first time this year, an event known as the Bournemouth Sevens will be staged at the sports facilites near the Airport, 31st May and 1st June 2008. I have copied some information below should you be interested.

Roger Woodall, Director of Diamond Sports Events, a former rugby player and founder of Bournemouth Sevens, realised there was a unique opportunity in England to create a two day festival on par with world tournaments such as Dubai, Hong Kong, and Amsterdam. His goal is to make this annual festival the largest in Europe, appealing to everyone from all ages.

This rugby/music festival will be a whole weekend of entertainment!

It will be a magnificent event for years to come. Not only will there be 24 national teams fiercely competing for the number one spot, we are pleased to announce our special guests the England Rugby World Cup Winners (Lewis Moody, Martin Johnson or Jonny Wilkinson TBC), plus numerous international and premiership rugby players. In addition, the world-renowned band Electric Mayhem will be performing live at the festival. Not only will they get the B7s Arena rocking, they also bring a huge production and PA system.

B7s will be a truly exclusive experience, held at the picturesque venue of Bournemouth Sports Club. It will be transformed into the ultimate sporting arena with 65 acres of picturesque grounds and a capacity to cater for 10,000 people each day. We are also very lucky to have our own parking and camp-site for 3,000 people.

We welcome all Rugby clubs, Hockey clubs, Netball clubs, sports clubs, Universities and anyone who is up for some fun.

Be the first to experience this carnival weekend! Find more information at
www.bournemouthsevens.com

Why not visit the Gaza Strip after the events of the day finish and Party On……….

And if you are visiting Bournemouth with a group of people and need Hotel Accommodation why not use our Services…..
www.hotelsmart.co.uk

Welcome to the ” Gaza Strip “… whenever.
About the Author

Gordon Forrester is the Managing Director of Hotelsmart a Conference & Hotel Accommodation booking service based in Bournemouth but operating Worldwide, The service is Free to Clients. They offer their services for group bookings primarily but also have an online booking producing savings of upto 70% on hotel rates for the independent traveller. http://www.hotelsmart.co.uk

Waxy’s Dubai – Soap Opera 1st Episode 11-12-09