Local Night Clubs
Your guide to the hottest hangouts around town.
Football jokes?
Q. How many Man Utd fans does it take to pave a driveway?
A. Depends on how thin you slice them.
Michael Owen walks into a nightclub, straight up to a stunning woman and says ‘Get your coat, sexy, your coming home with me!’
The girl says ‘Your a little forward.’
The 7 dwarves are in a cave when it collapses.
Snow White is scared for their lives, until she hears a voice from inside the cave saying, ‘Middlesborough are good enough to qualify for the Champion’s League.’
She says, ‘Thank God, at least Dopey’s all right!’
You’re trapped in a room with a tiger, rattlesnake and an Arsenal fan. What should you do?
Shoot the Arsenal fan twice.
Q. What 3 English teams with swear words in their names?
A. Arsenal, Scunthorpe and Manchester Fu**ing United.
Q. What do Newcastle United fans and laxatives have in common?
A. They both irritate the crap out of you.
Q. What do you call a Norwich fan with a girlfriend?
A. A shepherd.
What a fecking cheek-only 6 stars so far? All proper terrace stand jokes and should be rewarded for. I esp. like them as my team are so rubbish, I can slag every team off. I pay 12 quid to go to watch my team lose every week.
The alternative is sitting at home with my girlfriend.
Diana Vickers – White Flag (live Tiger Tiger Newcastle 2008)